The male genitalia, threats, and insults
The Resistant Grandmother (TRG) imagines Trump's waning weeks based on data and his own words.
Ed. note: The Resistant Grandmother took a few weeks off to roll up my sleeves and do some campaign work. Now hundreds of postcards later, it’s back to the laptop. Thanks for waiting. — trg
The Resistant Grandmother…
The setting; Campaign headquarters at Mar-a-Lago. Campaign directors and staff are manning (deliberate word choice, given the campaign’s culture) the phones, as media inquiries continue to flood in, asking whether Trump will take any more interviews, as he’s been cancelling so many in recent weeks.
COREY LEWANDOWSKI (on phone): No, Mr. Trump will not be available. He’s been busy doing his rallies and town halls and … (listens to the caller, and answers) I know they’re not the same as formal journalistic questioning, but we both know Trump doesn’t respect that process, or you. (Listens a little bit longer, and hangs up.)
SUSIE WILES (on phone): Mr. Trump has been working hard, displaying stamina of a man half his age and… (listening to a persistent reporter) Yes, but his schedule has been much more demanding than Harris’s, so he needs to take a short time out due to exhaustion. (Listening) You and I both know that it’s Harris who’s not keeping up with Trump’s pace; he’s been running circles around her (listens to reporter’s facts that refute that characterization, but continues) so President Trump is wisely choosing who he talks to in these last weeks and who he doesn’t. And you’re a “doesn’t” (hangs up).
WILES TO LEWANDOWSKI: Maybe we should just put the phones on fast busy. We can’t keep up with this and get anything else done. Who cares what the press does or thinks? Trump doesn’t.
LEWANDOWSKI: Yeah. Right now, the campaign is playing to those who hate the media anyway. There’s nothing in it for us to give a s*** whether the public hears the
“truth” (he uses his fingers to make air quotes) or not. (Tells underlings still answering the phones) “We’re not taking any more calls. Just engage mode your phones; we’re done with this.”
(to Wiles) I assume you’re ready for our meeting upstairs?
WILES: As I’ll ever be. See you there…
(Upstairs in his private suite, Trump is ending his latest of seven reported phone calls with Vladimir Putin)
TRUMP: Sure, Vlad. Been doing all the things we talked about: insulting my political enemies nonstop, thus laying the groundwork for their arrest and prosecution after I get back the presidency. (Listens) Of course that follows a thorough dismantling of the justice system and military, making military tribunals the prosecution venues of choice. It’s all based on what you did—very strongly and smartly—when you took over.
VLAD: Yes, just follow the old KGB playbook, which has its roots in Stalin and Hitler. I’m sure you’ve read how quickly the German judiciary folded once Adolph took over. Their willingness to exclude Jews from the legal process even outpaced Hitler’s expectations, they were so eager to conform to his politics (Hitler’s Willing Executioners; Goldhaven, Daniel, p 47).
You should be able to similarly purge your vaunted judiciary in getting rid of Jews, other minorities, and women who have come to pollute your civil and criminal
courts system.
TRUMP: Read?
VLAD: (Adjusting his pitch to the famously non-reading Trump) But you know from personal experience, too. Your resumption of the presidency must mark a complete dissolution of any means of holding you accountable.
TRUMP: Bingo again, Vlad. Everything’s on track.
VLAD (as the more powerful of the two, makes the first move to end the call): Well, we’ve talked long enough. As they say in your country, now just get ‘er done.
TRUMP: Oh, I am—very strongly.
VLAD: (Hangs up first, then Trump follows)
(Just then, Trump’s three campaign directors—Corey Lewandowski, Susie Wiles, and Chris LaCivita—enter Trump’s office and walk over to the rectangular conference table. Trump takes his seat at the head, while they know to sit several seats down on either side.)
TRUMP: Give me all the good news.
LEWANDOWSKI: Well, chief, there’s quite a bit. You read, I mean, heard about the Wall Street Journal’s helping us out this last weekend?
TRUMP: (Lying) Sure. But give me a thumbnail.
LEWANDOWSKI: The hand of Rupert Murdoch seemed evident in Sunday’s main opinion piece. Absolutely incredible!
TRUMP: Get to the point.
LEWANDOWSKI: Well, you’d think that the Journal would at least give you a slap on the wrist for your calling Democrats like Adam Schiff and Nancy Pelosi “enemies of the people.” Instead—get this—they said that Democrats have done far worse than anything you’ve done or said! The Journal called Democrats “national socialists” whose policies, like student loan debt forgiveness, outweighed any threats from any lawbreaking you’ve done! That would have to include the Jan. 6 protests, which the WSJ editorial didn’t even mention, but what Harris and the Dems have been ranting about over the last four years.
I have to ask, sir, did you speak to Murdoch as you said you’d do on Fox and Friends last week? You said you’d ask him to stop running Harris’s TV ads. But this little gift is far better than any Fox nod to do that!
TRUMP: That’s for me to know and you not to. But, I agree, the Journal has really prostrated itself nicely. They haven’t always. But this was a real suck-up job.
WILES: They completely ridiculed anyone calling your rhetoric fascist and reminiscent of the dictators of the mid-twentieth century.
They even scolded Harris for calling you out for “seeking unchecked power.” (Wiles reads directly from the Journal’s text): “The fascist meme is all over the place, an upgrade from President Biden’s descriptions of the MAGA movement in 2022 as semi-fascist. MSNBC interviews earnest academics who draw a straight historical line between mid-twentieth century Europe and and the 21st-century GOP. A writer for theAtlantic takes the hyperbole prize with a headline that says Mr. Trump is talking like Hitler, Stalin, and Mussolini.” And, get this, “Why leave out Chairman Mao?”
The beauty thing is, you’ve said three times in the last week that Pelosi and Schiff are “enemies from within”—bad people who are threats to democracy. You even refused to say you would not prosecute them if you are reelected. You also said in the Fox interview on the 13th that your foes could be “very easily handled by the National Guard or, if really necessary, the military.” Quite frankly, Mr. President, this is the stuff of dictators. But the Journal editorial now actually gives its readers permission to believe everything you’re saying and doing is OK. It’s gold!
LACIVITA: Shades of the Supreme Court!!!
(They all high five and laugh.)
TRUMP: It was a lucky day when that Aussie Rupert bought his way into American “journalistic” (he puts this word, too, in air quotes) respectability. It’s sure paying off for us…
WILES: True, Mr. President. Nonetheless, we must not get in over our skis.
TRUMP: Whaddya mean?
WILES: The race is still essentially tied. But Harris is actually ahead in most battleground polls if you don’t count the junk GOP polls flooding the zone in these last weeks that skew the averages. Thank God for them, don’t get me wrong. But we’ve got to find ways to grow your vote, not just play to the base. Women, for example, are turning to Harris—she has a 10 percent women lead over you in Michigan, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Nevada, and Wisconsin.
TRUMP: But I love women!
WILES: After Dobbs, that claim is falling on deaf ears.
TRUMP: So what? I’ve got the man’s vote. I’m hitting it out of the park with men.
WILES: Yes. This year, you’re ahead with men overall by 16 points.
TRUMP: See what I mean!
WILES: But Harris is leading with women by 12, 52 to your 40. That percentage essentially holds up across the battleground states, too (newsweek.com 10.20.24).
But more importantly, women have a greater propensity to vote than men—by an average of almost 10 points over the last seven presidential voting cycles. I counted.
The voting gap was a full 10 percent more women than men in 2020 when your presidency was on the line. Then men, for all their promises, didn’t show up for you (pewcenter.com). We can’t assume, although we can hope, that men this year will be swarming to the polls in numbers greater than women. But we never know. And the last ten election cycles say we can’t depend.
TRUMP: Well, I don’t like this little discussion one bit... Perhaps you’d better scra–
WILES: I’m just suggesting, sir, that you cut back a little on saying things that women don’t like…
TRUMP: Such as?
WILES: The genitalia memes…saying that Harvey Weinstein, the serial rapist women and even some men hate, was “schlonged,” for example. And the Arnold Palmer-in-the-locker-room reference, that his “manhood” was something to behold…
TRUMP: My men get a kick out of that stuff…
WILES: But Palmer’s daughter didn’t. She said her father grew to dislike you in your first term. He concluded you were not very smart. So you see how, if you’re not careful, what you think you’re saying works one minute, but not the next, losing its potency.
LEWANDOWSKI: No pun intended, Susie?
WILES: (Holds back from saying “FU, Corey”) My point is, there’s no reason to deliberately stick your finger in anybody’s eyes at this late stage.
TRUMP: You agree with this, Chris?
LACIVITA: You know I’m hardly a prude, Mr. President. But the crude language and threats to people are backfiring beyond your base. Like at the Al Smith dinner in front of Cardinal Dolan you said you don’t “give a shit” and that Harris was “stupid” and couldn’t put a complete thought together and that “bad things can happen” to your opponents. It apparently fell flat in a room full of priests…
TRUMP: Are you kidding me? They should talk!
LACIVITA: The Catholic Church is getting blowback for normalizing your sentiments…
TRUMP: Hey, all I care about is that photo of me and that Cardinal guy splashed across the TV and newspapers…
WILES: (Using cognitive dissonance, trying to get back into Trump’s good graces) Well that’s certainly true, Mr. President. We can assume that picture was worth a thousand words.
TRUMP: Bottom line. You know we’re close enough that even a “loss” (again the use of air quotes) won’t actually mean losing. That’s the game we’ll prosecute after the fact. So how’s our stealing the election efforts coming along?
LEWANDOWSKI: Well, Elon’s in charge of our battleground states’ ground game, and there’s mixed results. There’s been a lot of turnover among his get-out-the-vote workers. They’ve gotten a slow start where Harris’s operation, inherited from Biden, has been up and running since early this year, if not sooner. Could make half a percentage point to a full point in a close race.
As for our plans to sow chaos post-election, all systems are go at this point, although we’re disappointed the federal judge in Georgia nixed our plans to hijack the vote there with delays and confusion.
TRUMP: He’ll pay for this.
LEWANDOWSKI: But we’re ready to pull the trigger on overwhelming the courts with even more lawsuits than in 2020 in hopes of gaining any small legal footing we can expand nationwide. Already started in 37 states with 165 suits filed (bloomberg.com 10.15.24).
TRUMP: That’s the kind of big dick energy that can get me back into the Oval. Then if we can generate some physical violence, too, that’ll show we mean business. Strength beats right every time.
ALL: Sure thing, Mr. President. But no overt mention of January 6th in the final weeks, OK? You saw how J6 didn’t play well with that Latino man at the Univision town hall. He said he wouldn’t vote for you again. Been getting good play.
TRUMP: That uppity dude got under my skin, allright. Look to see if he or any of his friends or relatives have shaky legal status. They’ll be the first to go when we do our roundup and deportation push. (Having met for 30 minutes, Trump seems bored, and cuts off the meeting, wanting to do something else that’s not clear. He tells his campaign directors to leave: the meeting’s over.) Now, scram. I’m still “exhausted”—got that?
WILES: Yes, Mr. Trump.
TRUMP: You mean, Mr. President.
WILES: Of course, Mr. President.
(They leave)
Once he’s alone, Trump takes out his phone, finds his speed dial list, and makes a quick call.
TRUMP: Hello, Vlad?
—trg
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