Trump gadfly has his ear, and heads roll
The Resistant Grandmother (TRG) imagines, based on news accounts, how podcaster Laura Loomer beguiled Trump to shred the U.S. National Security team.
The Resistant Grandmother (TRG)
The setting: The Oval Office one day before Trump will announce his dramatic tariff policy. He phones National Security Advisor Michael Waltz and Chief of Staff Susie Wiles, asking them to join him immediately. Wiles arrives first without Waltz
TRUMP: C’mon in, Susie. I’ve invited someone to join us. She’ll be here any minute.
Uh, oh
Wiles flinches on hearing the word “she,” as that can only likely refer to influencer, conspiracy theorist, and podcaster Laura Loomer. The 31-year old gadfly, with long black hair, dramatic cat-eye makeup, talon-like fingernails, and fiery red lips, has been finagling to get Trump’s ear, first during his presidential campaign and now that he’s won the job.
On the campaign trail, she figured out ways to share plane rides, even managing to accompany him to ceremonies marking 9/11 in Manhattan, an appearance that enraged victims’ families as Loomer famously claimed the 9/11 tragedy was an
“inside job.”
Loomer’s presence was so pervasive it got wags wondering if the raven-haired siren wasn’t getting a little too chummy with Trump, as evidenced by their obvious mutual delight in each other’s presence, revealed in photos showing the pair looking downright besotted with each other.
But, the price of eggs!
But what could have doomed other presidential ambitions—coziness with another woman and conspiracy theories targeting one of the most tragic moments in American history—didn’t faze the 2024 electorate, looking at the former president as the most likely of the two candidates to bring down the price of eggs—a reason and/or excuse for choosing Trump. Trump’s campaign chief Wiles said, “no,” to Loomer on the campaign gig, so the two have been chilly ever since. Now that Trump is president, the stakes are higher yet between Wiles and Loomer and Loomer
and Trump.
So here she was again, wiggling her way into President Trump’s good graces, maybe trying to get a job in the White House. The Trump staff’s track record of holding Loomer at bay by keeping presidential contact limited to phone calls had failed. The deviously plucky influencer had used a direct phone call to the president to set up their meeting. A recent phone conversation between Loomer and Trump had led to today’s in-person talk.
As an aide swings open the door, Wiles sees Vice President J.D. Vance, Commerce Secretary Howard Ludnik, and, ominously, the head of the White House personnel office, Sergio Gor.
No guardrails
WILES: May I ask who “she” is, Mr. President?
TRUMP: Laura Loomer, Susie. Our friend will be joining us shortly with something important on her mind.
WILES: We’ve asked that she contact us first before setting up a meeting.
TRUMP: Well, she called and spoke very strongly, and I decided she could come…
(An aide announces Loomer’s arrival and, with Trump’s nod, escorts her in.)
TRUMP (Gets up from behind the Resolute and goes forward to greet her): Laura, dear. You’re looking lovely as usual! (Turning briefly to the others in the room) Some people tell me I can’t say things like that. But I’m on safe ground with you, am I right, Laura?
LOOMER: (holding a sheaf of papers she’s removed from her designer bag): I wouldn’t have it any other way, Mr. President! (They giggle and hug quickly enough to pass muster.)
TRUMP: Please have a seat, my dear lady (motioning to a seat directly in front of him. Others in the room remain standing or are sitting on couches at a greater distance from Trump.)
WILES: And the purpose of this meeting is…?
TRUMP: Laura wanted to inform us of some not-so-good staff vetting; isn’t that right, my friend?
WILES: (Bristles as she, as campaign manager and then chief of staff, oversaw candidate vetting for the new administration)
LOOMER: Indeed, Mr. President! (wagging her finger both flirtatiously and menacingly) It seems you have some disloyal unreliables in your midst!
(Just then, National Security Advisor Michael Waltz enters.)
WALTZ: Excuse me, Mr. President. Had a small crisis to avert…)
TRUMP: No problem, Mike. You know Laura Loomer, right Mike? (Waltz makes a nod in her direction.) Yes, we’ve met on several occasions.
TRUMP: Miss Loomer came here to call for many on your staff to be fired for poor performance and disloyalty problems…
WALTZ: What the…?
LOOMER: Absolutely, Mr. President! According to my research, no fewer than six, and maybe more than that, of your National Security staff must go. These include Brian Walsh, senior director of intelligence; Maggie Dougherty, senior director for international organizations; David Feith, senior director overseeing technology and national security who was Marco Rubio’s top staffer; and Thomas Boodry, senior director for legislative affairs. “THIS WAS A VETTING FAILURE!”, Loomer asserts, ending on a loud and passionate note.
WALTZ: These are people carefully vetted, have years of experience…they’ve established relationships with foreign governments, members of Congress, possess invaluable cyber security expertise …
LOOMER: (Unphased, ticks off the names of other National Security employees, presenting “evidence” based on past jobs under Democratic presidents, social media conspiracy theories, and, most importantly, relationships with Mark Milley, former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff during Trump’s first term. Milley earned Trump’s lasting ire by assuring allied and adversarial military leaders on Jan. 6 that the attempts to overturn democracy by Trump followers would not lead to an attack against them.)
Bipartisanship—Oh, the horror!
Included in the list of targets was National Security Agency Director Timothy Haugh and head of the U.S. Cyber Command and his deputy Wendy Noble for supposed “disloyalties.” They were followed by Waltz's chief deputy, Alex Wong. His transgression: Wong’s wife worked at the Justice Department during the Biden and Obama administrations (3 april, washington post).
Waltz senior director for Asia, Ivan Kanapathy, also carried a sordid past due to previous jobs at Global Strategies where he worked alongside critics of Trump, and employment under former Democratic presidents—something assumed and required of military members. But working with critics or Democrats, prima facie, proved sufficient to charge disloyalty in Loomer’s book (3 april, nytimes).
WALTZ: I don’t believe this…
TRUMP: Well, Laura has argued her case very strongly, Mike. I’m inclined to agree with her. Everyone she’s mentioned has to go.
WALTZ: (Begins again to argue against the massacre. But after “Signalgate” and his inadvertently inviting theAtlantic journalist Jeffrey Goldberg to Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth’s unsecured countdown of a Yemeni bombing raid, the National Security Advisor doesn’t believe he can argue any further without risking his own skin, so acquiesces. He leaves to reluctantly carry out Trump’s dictum.)
TRUMP: (Nodding to Gor) Help Mike work out the separation deals, Serge…
GOR: Nods.
TRUMP (Abruptly): Everybody else should leave now, too. I want to talk personally with Laura a little bit…
WILES, VANCE, LUDNIK, and GOR retreat from the Oval, facing forward, as if leaving the presence of a king—or instinctively, to protect their backs. They avert their eyes from one another so as not to register any possible signs of disagreement or anything else.
Very powerful
TRUMP: Hey, Laura. Nice job…Very powerful. I appreciate you bringing all of this to my attention. And you look great, by the way.
LOOMER: You’re sweet, Mr. President. I’m just so proud of YOU too for doing such a great job! It’s my pleasure and privilege to help in any way. Well, I hear you’re going to make a big announcement tomorrow on tariffs. You must be busy, so I won’t keep you…
TRUMP: You know me better than that, Laura. The secret to my being president is that I never do the work. Work is for staff. Me, I make the decisions, then I play golf.
LOOMER: (Laughs. They hug. She leaves.)
One day later…When asked about the firings, President Trump downplays Loomer’s role while also adding to Loomer’s influence, claiming, “Laura Loomer is a very good patriot. She is a very strong person, and I saw her yesterday for a little while. She makes recommendations of things and people, and sometimes I listen to those recommendations like I do with everybody. I listen to everybody, and then I make a decision.”
For her part, Loomer both confirmed her role in the sackings and double-downed on the “evidence” that spawned them, posting on X: “Thank you, Mr. President, for being receptive to the vetting materials provided to you and thank you for firing these
Biden holdovers” (april 3, abcnews.com).
On that day, Trump went on to impose tariffs on 57 nations and entities ranging from 11 to 50 percent, setting off an historic stock market plunge.
—trg
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